Alice

*turn my 7 pgs of ramblings into a coherant 12-15pg essay tonight (it's 7 pgs single spaced, but it kind of needs to make sense argh!)... but it's pretty cool that I get to write about Ghost World and Welcome to the Dollhouse. And the fact that I have to do it tonight.

*put together my architecture portfolio for Tuesday... I have cleaned up photos of all of my models and larger drawings (except for they turned out too dark and not contrasty enough- I used a digital camera on a tripod outside, but I didn't adjust white balance or whatever it is you're supposed to do. So now if you zoom in you can't see the line quality at all, everything's all pixelly and blurry. But hopefully the images will be small enough so it doesn't matter? Otherwise I have to retake them and it only took like 394234908 hours so boooo). My paper is due noon tomorrow, but if I finish it tonight I can basically work on it from tomorrow morning until it's done... so that's manipulating images in photoshop, REDOING this entire assignment about the "rhythm" of gates on campus... (I flipped out when I couldn't find it- it was the product of a painful all nighter and like 15-17 hours of work. And my TA was basically like tough luck, redo it) bleh. and then assembling it all in indesign, getting it printed and then binding it myself, if I can figure out how to do it. gah. And I have to drive back to New Haven to turn it in before... 2pm? 3pm? 5pm? not quite sure. Should probably find out.

*pack up my stuff. And if you've seen my suite, you'll know what a chore that's going to be.

*take home final for FORMAC. Which I plan to do in as little time as I possibly can spend on it.

yayyy it's almost summer... oops I have to call noggin to check in on my start/end dates because I think I'm supposed to start in two weeks from tomorrow. Should probably make sure of that. hm.
I can't wait until I am freeee of schoolwork and people come home!!

To Do: SUMMER 2006

-get everything I can out of my internship
-plan for movie
-plan for summer program (07)
-write a screenplay
-take guitar lessons, voice lessons?
-keep/get back in touch with friends from HS
-watch lots of movies
-read lots of books, especially YA fiction!
-minimal drama please!

PS check out www.chooseyourscandal.com- the second episode of IvyU (the interactive soap opera that I'm assistant producing) has debuted. I ended up doing the soundtrack, polishing up the editing and re-editing the opening sequence for it, so watch it and let me know what you think! The script/acting/sound quality is not stellar, but I'm excited for the third episode (it has already been shot)- we actually had a director for that episode (which for some reason, seems to help ha), and it's pretty juicy stuff, so stay tuned.

-fashion show I'm producing on Friday
-application for architecture major also due friday, with statement of interest
-very nervously waiting to hear about the-n internship
-architecture classes have final reviews in two weeks, and
-tech week for danceworks on Saturday... I really don't want to do it but I would feel terrible dropping out at this point. But rehearsals go from 6pm-12 every night.
-WYBC test for membership next Monday... no way will I have time to do a demo for a show. bleh.
-final project for language of film due in 3 weeks... and the screening is during spring fling. which sucks. so much. it's basically the best day of the year, besides maybe harvard-yale. plus ludacris and BEN FOLDS are playing? gahhh
-final paper for new hollywood due in 3 weeks. At least I have reading period. but the final project for film is also due that week. and
-may 2 final portfolio for spatial language and drawing architecture are due. GAH if I didn't get into the major my life would be so much less stressful. But at the same time I want to do it. why why why?? I shoudl just be a film studies major or a slacker american studies major. I desperately want to slack off but cannot (ha for the first time in my life). Seriously. The other day I didn't even feel like WATCHING TV. HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE. the answer is basically never.
Really though, all I want to do is SLEEP. I really really really hope I get this internship and if I do I can't wait for the school year to be over and for it to start!!!
-have this idea for a film project. May involve going to South Dakota. Also hopefully will get to visit Jules in CO esp since havne't seen her in like 2389043209 years.

yeah I really can't drop out of hte danceworks show... peopel would murder me and never speak to me again. I just have to get through all this work! And I desperately want to just have fun and go out but I'm going to be so dead tired come the weekend. The time just flies by and who knows where it goes.

I have a mapping project to do for spatial language tomorrow, which I will probably be up all night doing. I haven't started yet, because I've been gone since my room from 10:30am until 8pm.

In Language of Film, we have a huuuuge assignment for this week. We have to be in groups of 4, and end up with 4 "portraits" of each of the group members. In each portrait, we rotate as director, cameraperson, editor and subject. This means tomorrow night and Thursday night we're doing 5-6 hours of shooting, and then each of us has to edit a project over the weekend. Today was fun though, after class my group got together and went to a group member's apartment and ordered pizza and talked for 2 hours... it was a little weird at first because we didn't know each other all that well, and the three other people REALLY wanted beer but I had WYBC training at 7, so I just sipped. It was actually not that bad, we got this irish Killian stuff. Annnyyyyway...

For Wednesday, I have to meet with my TA b/c I missed section last week, and figure out some weird modeling/drawing assignment for Drawing Architecture... I guess I'm going to have to do it late tomorrow night after filming.

For Thursday, I have to pretend I read The Things They Carried for FORMAC (we did have to read part of it in Humanities senior year so I can probably just skim and fake a reading response... "close readings" are always helpful). I'm also giving a presentation in New Hollywood on Susan Seidelman's Desperately Seeking Susan and Smithereens, and I haven't watched Desperately Seeking Susan yet. I should also do some background reading and prepare my presentation so we'll see. I'm also supposed to watch Do The Right Thing, but I just saw it last semester, and Stranger Than Paradise, which I guess I'll try to do, but I'm probably skipping the reading. I'm going to have to catch up on all the screenings and readings I skipped by next week though, because we have a test next week. Funnnn.

On top of that I have to make sure I practice violin for at least an hour everyday for my lesson on Friday... and keep on top of this fashion show that I'm producing. And find time to do a demo for a show for the radio station. And work on job apps.

I didn't end up getting the development internship for the-N that I interviewed for, but my interviewer recommended me for a development internship in another dept at MTV, so I have to call in tomorrow to figure out what I have to do for that- hopefully if I have to do another interview I can just do it over the telephone. I also have to do research and pitch ideas to get past the second stage of the application process for a development internship for the production company that is doing The Break Up (the Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn movie?) which should be fun, but definitely requires thought and time... which I don't have!! augh!! Hopefully it'll be ok if I don't get it back to them until next Monday.

so that's my action packed week. Hopefully I won't be too exhausted this weekend to do something FUN. last weekend, while I was away, my roommate went to a naked party on Friday, and um... ended up in DUH on Saturday. That was bad, but she is fully recovered now. Which is not to say that I plan on taking off my clothes or doing anything that would land me in DUH, but I definitely need a break.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIRSTS

First best friend: Anne and Sam
First car: the one that got totalled over winter break
First real kiss: --
First screen name: the same one I have now
First album: cabbage patch kids on vinyl
First pets: a hamster named shiny bright
First piercing/tattoo: ears
First big trip: Taiwan when I was very small
First time skiing/snowboarding: 3rd grade, when they put me in ski lessons with BABIES
First concert: some random concert in a club in Hong Kong... it was 18 and over but my aunt got me in with a press pass (I was like 12).
First alcoholic drink: mudslide yummm
First ticket violation: a parking ticket outside Borders in Mt. Kisco. I thought you didn't have to feed the meter on Saturdays!
First job: 3 weeks at Fresh
First date: ice cream? or coffee?
First myspace friend: Katie Furey

LASTS

Last car ride: getting driven back to school at the beginning of the semester
Last kiss: --
Last time you cried: haha probably at a film screening for class
Last movie watched: 40 Year Old Virgin
Last food you ate: sugar cookies at dinner with milk!
Last love: ummm sugar cookies from dinner
Last temptation: to not do hw and watch law and order instead. Ask me if I gave into it.
Last item bought: "A Date Which Will Live" at Labyrinth (for FORMAC)
Last annoyance: having to convince sleepy Helen to go to danceworks practice
Last time wanting to die: before the last review for Spatial Language
Last shirt worn: haha orange polo shirt
Last alcoholic drink: rum and coke on Sat
Last concert: Ok Go last weekend
Last phone call: calling Helen next door to get her out of bed!
Last time at the mall: a few months
Last date: last summer
Last job: fresh the summer after graduation
Last piercing/tattoo: ears

In any case, back in chappaqua tomorrow night... hopefully I get to see people before I go back to schoooooool.

Maddie's burps taste like metallic cherries

and

I'm going to find a hole. I'm going to find a tiny tiny tiny hole and walk
through like goddamn Gandhi!

No, it wasn't the course of the day, which I spent mostly not studying for my last and only final.
And it wasn't the final either, which went alright despite my minimal studying.
It wasn't even saying goodbye to my roommates and friends afterwards when I packed up to go home for winter break for good.

About 15 minutes into my trip home, outside Milford, I'm driving on I-95 when up ahead of me (far ahead, I suck at estimating but like hundreds of feet away) I realize that the cars are not moving. I brake, but the car doesn't slow down, so I floor the brake. Nothing... I can hear the car trying to brake but it had just started raining and it's a sheet of ice. I realize about a hundred feet away from the car that I'm not going to be able to slow down or stop, and I'm too scared to try and swerve into the center divider or even steer anywhere at all but straight, I think I'm going to start spinning and hitting cars left and right or flip over the divider- I've never been in an accident other than someone sideswiping my car or backing up into my front bumper in front of starbucks in chappaqua and then claiming not to speak English. I see the car growing bigger and bigger and I feel like I'm not slowing down and I watch my car plow straight into the rear of the car in front of me and the hood folds up as the entire front of my car is crumpled into the trunk of the white car in front of me. The airbag goes off and the seat belt basically doesn't allow me to move, so I'm fine besides a bruise on my chest from the seatbelt and my back hurting when I turn my neck (probably from tensing up when I was bracing myself for the crash) but for a second I was like "what if I die?" Anyway, the SOS system comes on and I'm kind of crying and talking to the guy who's asking what happened and if I'm alright. The cars in the two lanes and the non-lane (safety lane?) are all stopped in front of me, there was a multi car collision before me, because the roads just slicked up right as we got there, and then I hear a horn honking. There's a guy who got into an accident behind me, and he has walked out of his car with his friend to see what's going on up ahead- a white car comes to my left, in the side non-lane (I'm still in my seatbelt and can't see behind me, I'm assuming he couldn't stop either but decided to swerve off the lane hoping it would be clear) comes barreling next to me and one of the guys is hit by the car- I see him rise up onto the windshield of the car, his arms straight out on the roof- my reaction was to scream, so then I had to tell the SOS person what happened, but then a minute later a man walks back towards my car, knocks on my window and I roll it down. He asks me if I am ok, I say yes, and then his friend goes, "I'm more worried about you, you just got hit by a car." When he walks back towards his car he is limping, but looks otherwise fine. They called my house for me and contacted their towers, who said they were told that the police were organizing the tow. My parents called my brother's phone (my phone is broken) but it ran out of batteries about 20 minutes later. The rest of the story isn't that interesting- it involved me sitting in my car without heat (the engine popped up in the hood, my hood was smoking and I was afraid something was going to blow up or something) for three and a half hours until a police man came and yelled at me, telling me "You really have to speak up" as he bellowed into my window when I tried to tell him what happened, and he gave me a ticket for following too closely. The tow truck towed me off the road and dropped me off at the Pilot Travel Center, basically a convenience store/wendy's/truck stop, where I called my dad and cried to him some more before... he couldn't find me a limo service that was willing to wake up to drive me home, so I waited there until 2:45 when he found a new haven taxi that brought me back for the lovely price tag of $165. I got home about two hours later- the roads were still bad, and around greenwich we passed what must have been the remains of a similar pileup. There was still one car abandoned at the side of the road, but all 4 lanes were covered with scraps of metal and pieces from cars that they didn't clean up yet.
I'm home now, about to leave to see the doctor- my dad got really pissed off that I didn't go to the hospital but I was so freaked out I didn't want to go anywhere. I had to bail out on 9:30 le jardin brunch with Soumya (when I get back, definitely) but hopefully if my dad and the doctor let me I'm still going to Greece, leaving for the airport in two hours, so speed packing when I get back. Total damage costs... I don't even want to know. But at least the worst day of my life is over, it better stay that way- it can only be uphill from here, right?

And even though the moment's passed me by
I still cant turn away
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Get tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost and thrown away

And now we've grown up orphans I never knew their names
We dont belong to no one thats a shame
You could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name..
And I won't tell em your name

The scars are souvenirs you'll never lose
The past is never far
And did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are?

You grew up way too fast
Now there's nothing to believe
And re-runs all become our history
A tired song keeps playin on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name...
And I won't tell em your name
I won't tell em your name...I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same...
It's lonely where you are, come back down
And I won't tell em your name

God this is the first time I've had to deal with shit like this...
City tomorrow, final on Thursday, Greece on friday. It better be good...

Flash forward: 10:30pm.
My roommates went to Yorkside or somewhere. I am coughing and can't stop and I feel icky decide to take a "nap" and set my alarm for 11:30.

Guess when I wake up.
Not 11:30.
And my roommates didnt' wake me up! They probably thought I decided to just go to bed. But even so, I MISSED THE SHOW after all of that. I was thinking about not going because I was not feeling so nice, but someone else coudl have used my ticket if I was going to miss it. BOO!!!

Oh, and of course now that i typed all of this... I'm not tired anymore! bleh.

Sort by song title:
First: by Neutral Milk Hotel
Last: _N Sync - No Strings Attach

Sort by time:
first: The Oscar Myer Weener Song - The Simpsons
Last: Right Off - Miles Davis

Sort by artist:
First: Tearin' Up My Heart - 'N Sync
Last: Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For (downloaded tracks that have no artist)

Sort by album:
First: Baby One More Time - from ...Baby One More Time
Last: Us - Regina Spektor (again no album listed)

Sort by Last Played:
First: Bottle of Blues - Beck
Last: Jesse McCartney- Hidden Track (I have never played it, don't worry)

Top Five Most Played Songs:
1. That Thing You Do - The Wonders - 48x
2. Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson (ack don't ask! it was a phase. Although occasionally I do listen to Lala) - 44x
3. The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson - 43x
4. I Want You Back - Jackson 5 - 41x
5. Blame It On the Boogie - The Jacksons - 41x (these songs were on my happy mix!)

First song that comes up on Shuffle:
One and One - Miles Davis

Find “sex.” How many songs come up?
52, including Blood Sugar Sex Magic and CrazySexyCool

Find “death.” How many songs come up?
64, including Death to the Pixies

Find “love.” How many songs come up?
489, including Love Angel Music Baby, The Love Below, Love and Theft, 69 Love Songs, possibly others...

I was taking a shower after dinner, before finishing the decorations for the surprise bday party we were throwing for danielle, and my roomie and some of the girls next door were watching sex and the city in our common room. I come back to see the door is closed AGAIN. And I knock like crazy on the door, but nobody answers. My roommate has locked me out for the THIRD TIME in 3 consecutive days, the second time that I had to wait in a towel. Except for it was a Friday after the master's office was closed, and it always takes like half an hour or more for the security people to come with a key, but I knocked on everyone's door on our floor, but NOBODY WAS THERE FOR ME TO BORROW A PHONE!! I ended up having to go downstairs and fortunately Elyse was on the phone with her roommate Tory who had Maya's number... so I hung out in their common room in my towel and a borrowed bathrobe until my roommate came back to let me in. Yup.

Oh, and then this morning she cleaned the common room at like 9:30, which was very nice of her, except for she kept on coming in and out of my room every 10 minutes to move things of mine from the common room to my room... and we all know how pissy I get when people wake me up. Especially when I went to bed at 5am and it's a Saturday morning. GAHHHHH.

Ooh, did I mention I have a list of about 25 things that I was supposed to do this weekend, but somehow managed to do 0 of them? I don't know how I do it, but I guess I'm just that talented.

Despite all the ranting, I've had a very nice weekend so far. Whining about my life just makes me happy. I might go home next weekend (we don't get a fall break... we have no days off until Thanksgiving) because it's parent's weekend, but I don't have any performances or anything and some people will be home, right? And maybe even my dad will take me guitar shopping wheee!